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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Mr. Sensitive

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Canyon is our sensitive guy. He is our homebody, our snuggler and our worrier. He is always worried about everybody. He is also pretty darn funny and he LOVES to laugh. He is our sweetie!

Lately our Mr. Sensitive has been having a hard time getting used to being gone all day long for first grade. It can be so hard sending your kids off to school when you know how sad and lonely they feel there at times. But, you have to do it and they put on a brave face because they know they have to do it too.

The first week of school Canyon said he cried two or three times a day, but he always came home happy. It is was difficult for me to pinpoint the exact cause because he has a hard time talking when he gets emotional (which I can totally relate to).

I laid down by him in the dark of his room one night that first week of school and tried to get more details. I asked him what makes him cry at school, and what he's thinking about when he starts to cry. He then started to cry just thinking about crying. He said, " I miss you, and I miss Paige". "And I didn't have anybody to play with at lunch recess." I told him that I missed him too, but that I was happy he was able to go to school to learn so many new things. I asked him if there was anybody in his class that he thought might be really fun to play with. He named a few boys. I told him to ask those boys before recess if they wanted to play with him. That way he was sure to have someone to play with. That cheered him up a bit. We also went over some techniques with him that usually help him when he starts to cry. Like counting to five, taking deep breaths and telling himself that he will be okay. We talked for a little while about other things and I kissed him goodnight.

Sunday, the night before the beginning of the second week of school we were at Grandma Nanette's house. He started to cry and told me he wanted to go home. He said he didn't want to leave me and go to school. He then asked me through his tears how to spell the word 'played'. He was nervous about not being able to spell the word right in his school journal. He was so stressed! I told him that he just needed to write the word the way he thought it sounded and it didn't matter if it was exactly right. He wanted me to write it down on a little note for him so he could look at it at school. I told him I would.

The next morning he cried and cried and hugged and hugged me. He didn't want to leave. I wrote my cell phone number down on a post it note (and the word 'played') and told him to put it in his pocket. I told him that he could call me anytime he felt sad. Nash said "and you can come find me at school if you feel sad because that's what big brothers are for". What a nice brother! That made him feel a little better, but I still had to send him off to school crying. And I cried when he left.

When he came home from school he had a big smile on his face. He said "Mom, I didn't cry today, I just took deep breaths and counted to five and calmed myself down!" "And I looked at the number in my pocket and that made me feel better!" I was so glad!

The rest of the week he did the same thing everyday. Left crying, with a note in his pocket, and calmed himself down when he felt sad, and had no tears at school. Progress.

So now he has to have the note in his pocket and if it is not there when carpool honks their horn he gets a little stressed, but we always make sure he has it. He also likes to have home lunch everyday. I think he just likes that little piece of home to take with him.

One morning when I drove the kids to school he ran out the door and when he was half-way to the school I realized he had forgotten his note. Well, I thought, maybe he doesn't need it anymore. Then I saw him turn around and run toward me. He had a look of utter despair on his face and big tears were streaming down his cheeks. He couldn't even mutter the words, "I forgot my note". I wrote cell number on a piece of paper and gave him a big hug. He stood there for a few minutes to calm down a bit. I said, "hey buddy, you are going to be alright once you get in there and start doing fun things". He put on his brave face once again and ran for the school. And I cried again. I miss him too. These are the moments I love to be a mom. To be able to help, to comfort and to give courage to my little guys.

We love Canyon's sensitive side, we just need to help him deal with his emotions a little better sometimes. He will learn as he grows, and he has been doing pretty well- All this last week he went to school with the note and no tears. We love this little guy!
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7 comments:

Rochelle said...

What a sweet boy! You have amazing children, laurie.

Sydney said...

What a sweetie. I love how it's the little things that calm their hearts. Have you ever read the book "the kissing hand?" I'm sure Canyon could really relate to the raccoon!

Rebecca said...

Your pictures are gorgeous by the way! This brought tears to my eyes. At least he seems to be getting better and I'm sure you are too. What a sweetie!

Jen I said...

Aw, that made me cry too! I'm already getting stressed out about having older kids. It sounds so hard in a whole different way and with things I would never think of. That is so sweet what Nash said. I can't ever imagining Cash saying that. :) He'd be the one MAKING his little brothers cry at school. You have sweet boys.

bevany said...

What a cutie! Poor Canyon. That's such a sweet story...at least he has his big brother!

Tara said...

I was thinking like Sydney. The kissing hand is a great book for him, we have it, come borrow it. I sure love that kid.

Unknown said...

That brought tears to my eyes....sweet Canyon, what a precious little boy. Kids are so different, some just aren't as ready to grow up as quickly. It's too bad that life sometimes "makes" us do things we are not ready for.